"Just Let Me Cry"

Today as I got news about my sister and the cancer taking over her body, this song came to my mind. It is by Hilary Weeks. I have pretty much cried all day, the tears are so close to the surface.

Just Let Me Cry

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
We’re not just tossed by the wind,
or left in the hands of fate.
But sometimes life sends a storm that’s unexpected.
And we’re forced to face our deepest pain.
When I feel the heartache begin to pull me under...
I dig my heels in deep,
and I fight to keep my ground.
Still, at times the hurt inside grows stronger.
And there’s nothing I can do but let out...

Just let me cry.
I know it’s hard to see.
But the pain I feel isn’t going away today.
Just let me cry.
Till every tear has fallen.
Don’t ask when...
and don’t ask why.
Just let me cry.

When I agreed that God could put this heart inside me.
I understood that there would be a chance that it would break.
But I know He knows exactly how I’m feeling...
And I know in time He’ll take the pain away.
But for now...

Just let me cry.
I know it’s hard to see.
But the pain I feel isn’t going away today.
Just let me cry.
Till every tear has fallen.
Don’t ask when...
and don’t ask why.
Just let me cry.

I have felt joy,
the kind that makes my heart want to sing.
And so my tears are not a surrender,
I’ll feel that way again.
But for now...
For this moment...

Just let me cry.
I know it’s hard to see.
But the pain I feel.
Isn’t going away today.
Just let me cry.
Till every tear has fallen.
Don’t ask when...
and don’t ask why.
Just let me cry.

I believe that everything happens for a reason.

I love you Nat!

Boys

A couple of weeks ago Colsten was in his room and fell. His mouth was bleeding a little and I noticed his top, front, left tooth was loose. We figured it wasn't too bad and decided to wait to take him to the dentist. Tally went out of town on TDY (a business trip) last week. While he was gone Colsten hit is mouth on the couch while he was playing. He didn't cry, he just laughed a little. I noticed his mouth was bleeding so I called the dentist and they got us in for an appointment the next day. I took him in and the dentist said he would put a bar in his mouth to support the tooth so it could get strong again. He did tell me that if they got in there though and there was any damage to the tooth they would pull it and put a fake one in. I started crying. (I know lame. But I am pregnant and my mom's daughter so the tears come at any given time.) We set up an appointment for Thursday (I was grateful for that because Tally would be home then and he could take him.) Thursday came and they put him out. They did x-rays and saw that the nerve was damaged and that the tooth was broke inside. So they pulled the tooth. He has to go back in this week to get his fake one in.
When he turned a year he fell and knocked out his front bottom two teeth. So at the age of 2 he is already missing 3 teeth. I guess this is the joys of having a VERY active boy.
Daddy and Colsten sleeping after they pulled his tooth. Colsten was still a little drugged up and out of it.

Finally has a computer again. We were without one for about 2 weeks because of a virus. I was so happy when they called this afternoon and said it was done. Now I just need to get updated on my posts.

4-D Ultra Sound

We went in for our 4-D ultrasound today. They check the baby from head to toe to make sure that everything is ok and developing properly. Our baby looks good and looks healthy. It is amazing at what technology can do these days. Here are a couple of pictures they gave us of our little boy.

Christmas

It was a great Christmas at our house. It is becoming more fun now that Colsten is getting a little older. He has talked about Santa the whole month. (Since the time he sat on his lap at our ward Christmas party the first of December) He also opened his presents this year and was excited for what was inside the box and not the box itself. I remember last year he wouldn't even take the wrapping paper off, so it was more fun this year to see his excitment. We then went and saw grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. It was a lot of fun and I am so grateful for Tally's family and for my own family. They are all wonderful and I am blessed to be apart of both and to raise children in both. We hope that everyone had an enjoyable Christmas as well.

This was his very first look on Christmas morning when he walked in to the room.

The train set that Santa brought to him.

Love this boy...

I adore Colsten. He is a very hyper child and has a whole lot of energy that doesn't ever seem to wear off, no matter how much he runs. But he is so sweet. We bought him new boots a few weeks ago and we had bought a red vest a few months ago. He loves to wear them. Tally's sister calls him Bob the builder when he does wear them together, but he sure is cute.

Baby update

At our doctor's appointment at the end of October the dr. said everything looked good. Then he asked us if we wanted to guess what the baby was. Both Tally and I looked at the screen and we both said boy. The dr. said that he thought it was a girl. That he was pretty sure it was a girl, but he would be able to tell us better at our next appointment. (We get an ultra sound every time at our dr.) We were excited for a girl. How fun it would be to have one of each. We picked out a name and were set on a girl. We went to our next appointment 2 days before Thanksgiving and he asked if we had guessed last time what it was. I told him yes and that he thought it was a girl. He said "well I am an idiot because it is definitely a boy." Sure enough it is definitely a boy. No mistaking it. :) I was in shock for a little because I had my heart set on a girl. I am excited for another boy though. It will be fun for Colsten to have a brother close in age. So baby boy Thomas is coming in May and we are so very excited for this new addition to our family.